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    9/10/2006

    做师姐前的垂死挣扎,讨厌的眼疾

        2006年9月10号,广大新生报到的日子.今晚,自己在电脑前做做师姐前的垂死挣扎.看了很多大一的时候喜欢去浏览的网站,在网上找很多师兄师姐聊天享受小师妹的感觉,想起很多自己在大一没完成的事,然后决定在大二把它们完成.
        最近的日子很痛苦,虽然课程不忙,日子轻松,但眼疾一直在折磨着自己.看着大罐大罐的药渐渐地吃完,一瓶一瓶的眼药水渐渐地用完,心里总是在安慰自己,快好了快好了,不用做药罐子了,可却发现,病痛依然,甚至越发严重.眼皮已经开始发痛,按下去还会觉得肿肿的涨涨的,也会痛,同学说已经看出来眼皮发肿了,而我每天照镜子,却依然不敢相信.上两次手术的痕迹还在眼皮里没有消失,伤口也还浮肿浮肿的样子,旧伤为愈,新痛又起.真的怀疑医治我的那个医生是不是庸医,开手术费的时候一点都不手软,狠狠地敲了两笔.其实钱无所谓,只是手术真的很疼,术后麻醉退了更加疼.有人说,电脑辐射照得多对眼睛也有害,这我也知道,可是,坐在宿舍,发现自己没事做的时候,除了上网,还能干吗呢?桌子边上的<飘>一直静静地躺着,可是我也一直没有去翻,不知道为什么......也许该把它还给主人了.
        明天要迎新,迎新,我们这帮老人要去迎新了,很多人都很期待自己的师弟师妹会是怎样的.我也好想看一看,看看他们刚进校时那些对一切充满新鲜与渴求的眼神...我在想,如果有人叫我师姐,我第一反应该是什么好?算了,一笑而过吧..
    这;两天一直在烦法学辅修的问题,在报与不报之间犹豫不决,想报,可是想了解很多问题,找不到人问:不报,觉得自己周六日会比较颓废地呆在宿舍,不想这样地过日子...怎么办怎么办,好矛盾!!!
        日志写到一半,拿起镜子仔细对照两只眼睛,发现右边的比左边浮肿,右边的眼袋甚至还有些紫色...最近还经常胸口发闷,针刺般疼痛...好害怕,怎么办?独自害怕病魔又再来临,独自惶恐......爸爸妈妈...

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    Hylawrote:
    看完再还吧
    Sept. 11

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